Selamat sore. Hari ini Rabu, 12 April 2023.
It’s been four days since my last graduation. How do I feel about it? It is just so so, nothing special about it. I didn’t anticipate for this day that much since months ago. No idea why. But lil bit of me anticipated for that day because someone encouraged me to be happy about it. Too bad she couldn’t see me, graduate from this hell. Too bad. I know you will be very proud of me. I know that. You really appreciate everyone around you, including me. I am very proud and happy to be one of your friends. I am very happy. Now that you are not here, it’s still a lil bit weird. Luckily these days I can accept the fact that you are not here anymore. Does that mean I forget you? Nah, I just have something to think about. Nothing much I can do about the fact that you are not here anymore. So what else can I do? Of course just accept that fact and carry on my life. It is so true that even if my life is crumbling into madness life still goes on. So, yeah. I’m just trying to be a responsible adults. That’s all.
Exactly four months ago you told me to send you a pic of my graduation pic. Not gonna lie, I’m happy that you are rooting for my graduation while me not rooting for that day at all. But knowing that you are waiting for that moment, I was kinda anticipating it.
However no one knows. You will never see my graduation pic. Well, I guess this graduation thing is not really for me. I actually never anticipate for any kind of graduation since middle school. It is not really something new.
I’m still processing that your life is already stopped when you turn into 22 years old while me the real life has just begun when I turn into 23 years old. How odd this life. Basically we are just waiting our time to demise, so yeah let’s just do the best for this given life. I don’t know if this life is an opportunity to prove something or what, or maybe this life is just a plot that was created by a bored God. I don’t know. Life is really not fair and weird. Sometimes I can control it and sometimes I can’t. Whatever it is, I’m just trying to be who I am right now.
Really nothing special about my graduation ceremony. So freaking lonely even if I have my parents and my cousin but still not as fun as I thought. I thought my heart will be full and all but no moment really sticks into my brain. This graduation didn’t alter my brain chemistry at all. The last time my heart was so full with excitement was when I got accepted into this uni. After that, nothing really excites me.
Now that I’ve graduated, I’m just nervous because people assume that I’m ready for real life problem and all adult’s stuff. I’m nervous that I will not be able to meet people’s expectation toward myself. People really asked a lot these days.
The highlight of my time in university was my freshman year. It was really the best moment during my studies. I met amazing and nice people. I experienced a lot of emotions during that time and it was really amazing. It was difficult phase because I had to fight for the next year but it was really the best memory that I have ever had during my study in this uni.
I don’t have a plan to do anything special to mark this milestone in my life. I’m still demanding myself a break and job opportunities at the moment. It’s kind of ironic because I want to take a break and want to get a job at the same time. The root of this problem is I’m just not ready for corporate life. That’s all. At the same time, I need to earn some to continue my life. That’s why I’m just doing both at the same time. Taking a break and also preparing myself for corporate life. Wish me luck tho, hahaha. It’s difficult to get a full time job recently.
I learned a lot during my time in university. Especially the part that I’m just a stupid human. Even if I study really hard before the day of exam somehow I just can fail it. It was really different environment compares to my high school. Totally different. I guess this university just humbled me in their own way otherwise I will turn into cocky lil bastard hahaha. I didn’t even need to study but I still get a perfect score in high school but not in university haha.
Well, yeah. That’s all. I’m tired writing this sht. So, good luck for me. Hahaha. Life has just begun. Ciao!
LET'S ENJOY 