Welcome, Ramadhan! Really thankful I am still given chance to welcome this holy month. This year is one of a kind because it started on my birthday. I am turning 23 years old this year, and I am already a young adult who is going through mental crisis and all of the things that people in their early twenties experience. Yes, it is a universal experience that most of people in their early twenties even in their thirties to experience such situation called quarter life crisis. I know it does not make sense, it is like we are so sure to live to 100 years old, but I think that is a good term. Let’s just assume that we will live to 100 years old and usually people tend to begin their identity crisis in their early twenties.
Well, not gonna lie I’m not stressing out that much and I am thankful for that. It’s a blessing in disguise if you have careless mentality. However it also can be a boomerang because I just do not care the fact that I am still looking for a new job. I have this thing in mind which what’s meant for you will find its way, I believe that. Since I already tried my best (not that best because I am still on my healing process so I do not rush thing at the moment) why would I be stressing out over things that out of my control? If it’s not for me then it is not meant for me. Learn, adapt, and improvise! That’s it. During this healing phase I really want to figure out new things, I know it is not supposed to take that long time but I really do not want to mess up like I did for the past five years. Therefore I have to think thoroughly because I do not want to jump into the “same” hole.
Okay, next thing is I want to talk about human interaction. I like to be on my own not because I hate people and I think I can handle things on my own but I just enjoy my own company. Observe everything, and immerse in my own thought. I like to see people do their own things, it is just because they are human. That’s it. Despite all that I just do not like to interact and communicate (at the moment), because it’s tiring to talk about my own thought and then communicate it to other people. It is difficult to put the right words together so it would make sense for whoever listening to me. I’m just lazy to do that, so that is way I’m just on my own and not really talk to people. I only talk much to very few people in this world. Like I said it is not like I hate people, no. I’m just tired to express things to people.
I really like to help people because there is something beautiful behind it, it is very intoxicating when you know you can help people and manage to put a smile and sign of relief on their face. Not that I feel powerful after doing it but like it is just amazing your existence can be meaningful to others just because of the smallest thing you do for them. This is one of the reason why I keep on living actually, doing things for others. For the past five years, I was really not be able to continue to do this because I feel like I am not good enough for that. Now that I am about to leave this hole, I will start something new. I hid my emotions and ambitions for too long, no I simply extinguished the flame of emotions and ambitions by not believing in myself. I will no longer hide, I will start a new chapter. A new journey.
Btw, happy Ramadhan! Let’s do our best!
LET'S ENJOY 